I haven’t had a chance to talk to my guild leader about the letter I sent her. She has received it, and plans to set time to talk later this week. I think, before I get there, I need to figure out what I want out of raiding.
I want to raid with people I like. And if I don’t like everyone, I would prefer not to raid with jerks. I had a reminder recently how much the attitude of the people I play with really matters to me, and it’s more than I thought. I might be pretty good at being oblivious and putting up with jerks, but I don’t want to have to. Plus, I love to talk and give my opinions and offer suggestions, and jerky people tend to shoot those things down which can really upset me and then why would I play a game if I’m getting upset by the people I play with?
So playing with people I like is preferable. I ideally want everyone to show up to raid, on time, with goals similar to mine. Prepared with a little bit of study on the fights, knowing how to play their class. Ready to go, and not constantly taking breaks. I don’t want to raid 12 hours a week, and I don’t want to have to attend all raids. I mean, in general, I will. I schedule around raid nights, and really only miss for midterms/finals and my flights to school. But I’d like a raiding environment where an occasional absence is ok.
So the big thing is people I like, then people who want to progress like I do, and who will work to improve. Those are the two big things. After that- people who will discuss things, speak up, are willing to put effort into trying… Why does that seem so hard to find?
I’m having a few issues with both raids. They’re both probably my fault. I guess I can learn to live with a few odd strategies since I have a raid leader who explains his position to me, and is willing to discuss and change. So we do this fight in a really odd way that I don’t like, it’s one fight. The people are friendly, big on starting on time (though we have been late occasionally) and who love raiding enough to form spontaneous raids on weekends while we’re progressing, if everyone is available and has time.
My other raid, I’m having issues with mostly just a few raiders. I feel like our reasons for raiding are different. I feel like he only comes to hang out, possibly to help since we were short on healers when we started, but he comes across to me like he doesn’t care about the raiding aspect of raiding. There were some really big things early on, and nothing as egregious lately. Though I think that’s because we haven’t done any new fights. The only one left is Garrosh, and we’re not really working on him. I like everyone else, though I do have an issue with the roles of some people.
I have to decide, if nothing is going to change in that raid, do I want to stay? Am I ok with raiding with someone who I feel half-asses things? I’ve put up with it to here, why stop now? Why is it bugging me enough to consider quitting now?
A few things- stress. Finals are coming, my boyfriend proposed, I’m heading home in 3 weeks to arrive in the middle of a move. A few of the people I am closest to in that raid are getting more upset and considering quitting, and I tend to follow people I like. Plus, if we lose people who really do care and try, things are not going to get better.
Here’s what I’ve decided: Who I raids with matters a lot, but I am not ok raiding with people who don’t seem to care about improving. I am ok raiding with people who disagree with me, as long as we can discuss things and explain what we’re thinking and why we’re doing things to each other. If I talk to my guild leader, and nothing is done- no plans to improve, no willingness to meet me halfway, or no understanding my issues, I am ok leaving that raid.
I felt hopeful that 2 people would get pissed of and maybe quit that raid a few weeks ago (they didn’t) and I felt awful that I was hoping people would get mad and leave. If I feel that way about some of the people in my group, I shouldn’t be there.
And now I know that before I talk to my guild leader. I know what I want, I know what I’m willing to accept in the very, very likely chance I don’t get everything I want, and I know what I am going to do if nothing happens. I don’t feel that great about it, but I have a few names in mind to replace me I can hand over to the raid leader. I hope it doesn’t happen, because I like that group, but I am prepared to have a few evenings open up.
And now, the vet school quotes:
“We don’t have thiopental anymore, we just like to talk about it because we are nostalgic, and we’re nostalgic on the NAVLE too.”
“You can always keep 1 ml extra and sell on the black market.”
“You’re never allowed to let anything die in radiology. They get really mad at you.”