Friday, January 19, 2018

New Year

A little late to talk about the new year, but here we go.

A brief reflection on 2017- lots of big things happened.

-I quit my job. That makes the second job I've ever quit for reasons unrelated to moving out of the area. And on my last day one of the assistants told me some lovely things about what the other doctor had said about me. Made me both really, really glad to be leaving and really sad. I think of myself as a likable, friendly person. The other doctor and I were merely colleagues, who barely talked to each other. Two introverts who made no effort, I had thought. That day I found out she likely had a bad opinion of me , both as a person and a doctor. Made me really sad, and a little angry that she never tried to talk to me about it. So very happy to have moved on to my new job.

-Started a new job! It took a while to get used to the other doctor asking my medical opinion- not used to that from my old place, but  a nice change. I was initially a little worried since several doctors I worked with had bad opinions of the doctor I currently work with, but so far we get along great and I love working with people who actually like each other. Plus, now I no longer work 6 days a week every week! That is my favorite part, time off.

-I bought a house! Sadly, my student loans are still more expensive than the house I bought. Not even close. But yay, I have a house! I now live 10 minutes form my job. No more hour-long commutes stuck in traffic.

Those are the 3 big things in my real life from 2017.

In WoW:

-My guild leader took a large step back due to health issues. He usually is less active as the expansion goes on, but he had to completely stop for a bit at one point due to health issues. We officers are currently trying to better hash out officer duties, more official guild rules than "don't be a jerk" and figure out the future of our raid.

-We lost a few good guildies from the game. Most to burn out, some to boredom. 

-The end is in sight! New expansion announced, I've hit 75 on my artifact weapon on 2 specs.

Current projects:
-Our guild rules/officer duties discussion
-Figuring out what we want to do with raiding once we clear the tier, and how to tell some people they just aren't hashing it in the heroic raid and should stick to open normal night. I suck at telling people no. 
-Finishing unpacking! At least by next Thanksgiving.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

I'm Back! And of course, complaining

Wow, it has been some time. I have felt the urge to write, but it mostly strikes at work, and I don't want to do personal stuff on work computers. And blogging from my cell phone would likely be a pain.

Ah, work. I graduated! Full fledged veterinarian now, out and practicing for a year. I took a job with a shelter that also has a full service clinic for the public. I occasionally regret that, and occasionally really love it. I am looking for a different job due to work troubles- which may or may not end up another post. But today, this week, has been bad in work, job hunt, and WoW. With the triple whammy, I felt the urge to write my thoughts down.

The quick ones- 5 euthanasias in 3 days, the last one was an emotionally wrought emergency with a suffering dog we kept alive a bit longer than we should have in hind sight so family could get there, only to euthanize as they walked in.

Then Friday, I get notice that two of my patients have died. One expected, the other, while not directly my fault- the owners never came in for follow up care and instructions as directed, and never told me they wouldn't be able to, I still feel responsible. Because I had the option to send the cat home with a technician for care, and instead, happy the presenting people wanted to keep it instead of surrender, sent it home with them, believing they could care for it over night, and come in for further care in the morning if needed. So I indirectly killed that one.

I have been job hunting for several months, with little success. I turned down the offer from the first place I interviewed, which I think gave me false hope, since everywhere else has not worked out. Then I took a week off in September, for a few reasons, but one was to house hunt in the area where I am job hunting, believing an interview over the weekend went really well and I would get the job. House after I put the request in, was contacted and told they were not interested in hiring me.

That evening, raid time! Main tank and RL whispered me half an hour before the raid- sick, can't make it, can I run it? Sure, ok. Start raid up- we have a few guildies who like to get the Gul'dan thing. Tonight, they killed people as we zoned in. Annoyed 3 raiders (including our other tank and our strongest healer) and they just quit raid and logged. We ended up doing an alt run, unsuccessfully, with 2 alt tanks who were not geared well. Quit early. And I was pissed- at the people with the gul'dan antics, a bit, and they were talked to. At the people who up and quit without discussing any issues prior, I was furious. They said, later, the problems had been going on for weeks unaddressed- well, yeah, if no one tells me there's a problem, I don't address it. Leaving mid raid without comment was NOT the way I would have liked that handled. They wasted 15 people's time because they were annoyed at 2 people.

Still working out the raid situation.
I have amazing colleagues- posted about job woes and stress and had some instant responses. 
And I have new hope after getting a full night's sleep that next week will be much better.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Always Drama

As I write that, I realize there is no drama but what I am making it out to be. And in 2 weeks, there absolutely should not be an issue.

I have led the second raid team, the open, everyone can come if you can meet the minimum level requirement, group, for oh, since the end of SoO. I had planned on starting it the week after raids start, when LFR releases. I usually se the minimum level to be what LFR drops, so it makes sense. Plus, people can practice in LFR, which a lot of the people in that group need.

My guild leader had a short, 30 second or so conversation about it, in which it was mentioned I would do it week one if demand was high. I'd even lead a second group the first night if we had enough people.

Then a friend asks me what's going on with the group, someone else is leading it next Thursday. Another friend put up the invite for it. I talk to him and our GM asked him to do it. And I'm a little peeved at them.

The GM, for not just saying he wants me to have one, and the other guy for no good reason. I'm really only taken aback by him, I think. Out GM told him I was busy, wasn't sure about the schedule, and asked him to do it, so he did. He's a nice guy, ran mythic with me on his toon after he'd done them a few times that week. Always helps out, brings his main to bosses we need it, willing to do whatever. Super nice. So I can't be upset at him.

I guess I'm just possessive over the raid. It's my run. Been doing it a long time. Have specific things set. Was looking forward to our first night, now that I write this.

And the lack of communication really makes me want to scream. I'm already irritated by the promotion to officer of a few people. I remember one rage quiting at the end of a raid for loot issues, then not showing the next night. Others are fine people, but they do absolutely nothing outside of play the game. They don't really speak up or help out- they just raid and play their class well. Oh, they'll absolutely help if someone is told to talk to them about something to do with their class, but they don't do much else.

I guess to me officers should do something. Have a purpose. In the last guild, officers did invites and led events. Here, so many ranks can invite, officers do pretty much nothing. Occasionally remind people not to cuss.

And my rant has shifted. I've been tired, and it makes me much more irritated. I've had some tough cases, mysteries and euthanasias, super concerned people I can't comfort, good pets I feel I let suffer or am not helping enough. Plus being put in charge of an inventory that hasn't seemed to actually had inventory taken perhaps ever? Yeah, low stress.

But let's focus on good things:
-Our puppy is ADORABLE
-My druid hit 100, is gearing up, and I'm enjoying Legion
-Companion app is useful
-I have helped some patients. Super concerned owner's dog got her teeth cleaned and pulled, and she should be much more comfortable. Cat with an abscess got an appointment instead of likely ignored.

Always more I wish I could do-I wish I could give all the nervous dogs and cats some anxiety medicine. I wish I could give all the flea allergic dogs and cats good flea control. So many allergies. I wish I could talk to all our clients about all the things.

I had a sweet old lady client come in today to pick up medication, because phone tag wasn't working. Talking with her was really nice. Her dog likely has some degenerative myelopathy, which sucks, but the owner is nice. Now that I mention it, I think I had to muzzle the dog...But sweet owners.

I work at a place that will let me make changes. Which is grand. Where I can do things. Where I can talk to colleagues. I wish we had more complete records from other doctors, but I'm trying to keep mine good. I wish for a lot of things.

And tomorrow, I wish for a good day of appointments with fixable problems and animals who aren't suffering beyond what I can alleviate with treatment.

Do you know I made one old woman cry when I told her euthanizing because she couldn't treat was an acceptable thing to do? Now, treatment is preferable to me. But if your pet has a disease that is costly to treat and manage, and can cause the pet to suffer if not treated, I believe euthanasia is a choice. Rarely the first one, but it is always one, and we have to remember that.

And the CE on VIN has been helpful. I expected Getting Through the Day to be like Getting Through the Night- how to handle regular day stuff, like that one was how to handle regular emergencies. But the first module was how to handle the day stuff we don't think about- communication and taking care of yourself.

I've rambled so long I forgot I was even upset. Thank you for reading :)

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Offering Help

I was reading this post from Navi earlier, and it struck a chord with me. I struggle with this a lot. I run the normal raid in my guild, and one night is an open, everyone can come night if you meet my minimum requirements. And thank goodness for guildies who don't mind doing a bit of carrying.  We take everyone, and some of the people would like to come on the slightly stricter, I need you to kinda know your shit nights but they just aren't quite there.

Our guild doesn't really have the best environment for asking for advice and getting help improving. Individually, I can approach several people with questions about their class and get helpful advice, but these people don't offer it up. And we don't encourage people to seek it out. I haven't ever been in a place that just offers up help. Even here, at vet school where most of the people love teaching, you have to go to them. And that's tough for a lot of people- especially if you view WoW as a game, something for fun, but not something to work at. I could easily turn WoW into a full time job trying to coax and coach people. Of course, what I want and what's actually best may not be the same thing.

And I know I'm part of the problem. I am supposed to be policing the group a little better, as far as who can come and who can't, and I'm not. I don't know how to tell someone they need help. I worry that I'm upsetting people. For example, we had a guildie who used to come all the time, on many alts, going as far back as coming to flex runs with me in my last guild. And one day, I told him he was welcome to bring whoever he wanted to the open night, but he needed a little more work on that particular toon before coming to the slightly stricter night (I have a hard time calling it "closed" because it really isn't). And they pretty much stopped coming. They come along later in the night, if one of their friends asks, and they're great and bring their main and help when we're struggling. And when I think about them not coming now, I feel bad. I have no idea if they don't come for personal reasons, too many raid nights, or if it is what I said. I do tend to be self-centered and think I'm the cause of everything though. I do think they talked to another player, and improved their skills with that class- but they have not brought that toon, or any other alt, to my raids. I don't know if it was since then, or if it tapered off. I didn't notice it until some weeks later. But that makes me worry about telling people I need them to improve for the harder bosses.

I have managed with some people who clearly need the work, telling them they can't come on the second night unless they improve, and offer to help. That is with classes I know a lot about (so, basically resto and feral druids). I get prickly if someone who doesn't play my class or role tells me what to do- oh if people could've heard me the day the tank tried to tell me how to heal. Or seen the look on my face. Cause, really dude? REALLY? Yeah, you better just stop there.

I may be a tad sensitive about some things...

I need a lot of improvement myself. Mostly with communicating. Rather than ask healers to call out CDs, I found an addon to track all the things. ALL OF THEM. Which, super helpful as raid leader- I know who rezzed whom in combat, and the timer left, no matter what the toon. Can track all the ring CDs and who popped it, plus all the big CDs and if I cared to several of the minor ones. Awesomely helpful addon.  Does not foster communication beyond knowing who's tranq is off CD for me to call out (often unnecessarily because my healers are usually on the ball!)

Anyways- how to foster a helpful atmosphere. Once upon a time, in a land far away, we thought about having an open vent night for questions and things... Not sure that'd work. Our vent is not very active outside of raids (another issues, but not one to be addressed here). And inside raids, I think I've pushed the "don't talk during boss fights please" hard enough that some people just don't talk. There are several "borderline" people as well- mostly ok, need some work but I don't know what and I don't have the time to dig through logs and find out.

I think I am going to have to take the time, to at least sort out the ones who need mechanics work, DPS rotation work, and a few need some behavior work. I've had, not really complaints, but comments about how annoying so-and-so is, and I don't know how to address that.

I'll set a few goals here:
I know at least 2 people I need to talk to right off the bat. I will do that.
-Look through logs, pick out those borderline people
-Decide if they need to be talked to
-Talk to the tanks and tank alternatives about swapping roles around, because that needs to be fixed.

Before I actually talk to people:
-pick one thing to talk to them about
-try to work in something good they do
-give them one thing to work on, and a way to work on it

Ok, those are the tentative goals for this raid. Let's see if I get to them by Saturday.

Thursday, October 8, 2015


Wow, it's really been over a month? Time has been flying by. A few things have changed since then. Some personal stuff went down, which added a bit of stress on top of the usual. I've begun raiding again with the heroic group, and my normal group kill Mannoroth.

On the school front: I finished Rehab and moved on to Exotics! It was fun, but pretty busy. They are called in for any exotic emergencies, so I had that a few times. One really bad night had me there til 9 dealing with a bunny who further featured her leg following surgical repair earlier in the day, then back at 11:30 til 2:30am for surgery on a bird with a prolapsed cloaca, and back in at 7 to check on the bird and bunny. Those few days were bad. Interesting, but sleep was dearly missed.

Now I'm on radiology. It's been interesting, but stressful. There's a final at the end with a tough pass rate. Here's hoping I'll be ok when I take it tomorrow. The rest of this one has been pretty simple. Study cases, take radiographs, present a few cases, leave at 5 unless you are one of the few who has to stay late or cover on call.

On the WoW front: WE FINALLY FINISHED GOLD CHALLENGE MODES, YAY! And I promptly set up another group for us to take alts. Cause I have a short memory and forget how much I hate scheduling things. Then someone offers to schedule things and I remember I am a control freak sometimes. Yeah... Anyway, on to group 2, so my monk can get a pretty weapon.

I'm raiding regularly with the heroic group again. We had a 2% wipe on Archi last night. I think we'll get it. The tiredness is making me more mellow about things like the fact we started half an hour late, went 15 minutes late, and were making some silly errors. Yay sleep deprivation! Been getting just enough to be mildly amused at everything, but not so little that I am entirely dead. On the plus side, this means I don't care so much and have been feeling more comfortable in raid. I will probably hang around as long as school will let me. Or until I don't wake up in time from post-school pre-raid naps.

The normal group is doing quite well. I still have trouble telling people they can't come, but I'm working on it. We downed Mannoroth, but it took pulling in 2 heroic raiders to help. I'm hoping the additional tier will help us, and if we still struggle I'll remove some people who are having issues. Problem is, if I base it on DPS, we have some people who are ok with mechanics and have a great attitude who are just missing the DPS their gear would suggest. Everyone meets my minimum gear requirements, and I don't feel raising them is logical or would be helpful.

It's something to work on. I've been forgetting. And my monk is the back-up tank for that group, but I'm about to drop that spec for WW. Eek! Just when I got my 4-piece too, I was looking forward to tanking. I do need the practice as windalker, so I plan to respec tonight. Which I had actually completely forgotten about until I wrote that. Whoops. I may need to heal anyway, but I'd like the option to DPS if I can.

That's the short summary of the last month. Goals for this next month:
-Finally do some work on Raiding with Leashes 3
-Study for Boards (Nov 20th, TOO SOON)
-Work on telling people they need to improve for the Sat group

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Obligatory Post About Flying!

Woo, we can fly! And new rares with new toys! And now that's out of the way, on to other things!

The next topic that's got people a-buzz: timewalkers, and their rewards! New pets! New mounts! Going to take a decently long amount of time! Luckily, my monk is now pretty permanently a tank, so I can at least get quick queues if I end up doing these solo. And that's pretty much all I have to say about that- more stuff to do. I have so much on my list of things I'd like to do, and I rarely get to any of it.

I still want to finish the Tanaan rep on my monk (my druid is set), and run old raids for pets and mounts (I have hardly even started raiding with leashes 3!), and eventually finish that archeology stuff (er, yeah, someday....), not to mention PvP gearing and achievements and all the achievements to do!

I think I may be able to set up an achievement run on Monday, for HM and possibly BRF. That would be good. I'll look into it. In fact, I'll go set that up right now. ...And done. It's on the calendar.

This post may ramble a lot. Rehab has, sometimes, a lot of sporadic downtime. Potentially a ton of downtime today. That may mean I will go and come back to this post, and break my train of thought and ramble a bit.

Today is going to be about chores: cleaning the house (the real one, I have company coming), emptying bags (the WoW ones- I hang on to all sorts of junk), and getting little things started or finished. Like the timewalker runs I need to do, and possibly getting a lockout for the normal raid tonight- haven't made up my mind yet.

On the one hand, all that trash is annoying, the first boss is so easy, and I don't think anyone needs anything. On the other hand, clearing trash gives me time to set up and people to get there. On the third hand, I start invites 15 minutes before the raid. If they get there any later than start time, they can miss a boss or walk to the instance. Well, fly now. And saving that time at the start may allow us to get further on Thursday, so we can get further on Saturday. However, some easy kills on Saturday may boost morale when we hit the inevitable wall on Tyrant. On the other hand (I'm an octopus today), I could just do what I said I was going to- and be strict, and cut people from the Sat run, so maybe we won't hit the wall there and can hit it on another boss instead.

Which leads me into: I am not used to that (telling people they can't come), and we don't have a good cut-off set up for when someone has to go. Is it too low DPS? ilevel? It's easy to cut people for not enchanting- I tell people EVERY WEEK on the calendar. And made it the MotD today so I don't feel bad kicking people. Anyway, that's a personal thing to work on- and figure out if I want to help people improve personally (or by sending them to good people of that class to talk to) of just direct them to helpful resources and tell them they need to improve to come on Sat. In theory, I completely understand the need, but I worry about hurt feelings. Anyways. I'll deal with it as needed, but:

That puts me back on square one: Trying to figure out logs for classes I only play one spec of, and don't fully understand. That may be my goal today.

And this is long and rambling enough that I may cut this off here and go do other things. Yup, other things. Possibly logs, possibly practice questions for the veterinary boards. See ya around!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

What's been going on:

It’s been some time since I last checked in. I believe I was on neuro, which was 3 blocks ago. My life is divided up into 2 week segments at the moment. Since then, a lot has been going on.

I finished neuro, and had a lot of fun and learned a good deal. I don’t really have an interest in surgery, and neuro does  a lot of surgery. Herniated discs mostly, but occasionally brain surgeries as well. And I’m a little nervous doing anything that can leave a dog permanently paralyzed because my finger slipped. Not that they let students do the surgeries, but I did get to scrub in and observe.

After that, I had dermatology! Lots of itchy dogs and cats. Mostly it was allergy cases, and I am well versed in the allergy work-up now. The hours were great- 8-5 Monday to Friday, and 3-5 on Thursday. Can’t beat that!

I had 2 weeks of vacation after that. In the middle, my guild leader was married and I traveled to Georgia for that. It was a nice ceremony, and good to put faces to names.

And now I am back from vacation and on soft tissue surgery! (at the time I started writing this I’m done with surgery and on to rehab!) They don’t let the students actually perform surgery. Though with the cases we have, I am not too surprised- they removed a liver tumor from a dog that was as big as a normal liver should be. And my case the next surgery day involved a lot- though it was really, really cool to see the lungs inflate and the heart beating as they did the pericardiectomy. But long hours- I was there til 8 that day, after getting there at 7 am! I miss my sleep. And over the weekend, I have to be in at 6 am.
Update on surgery now that it’s done: STUPID long hours the next week, like 5am to 7pm or later on that second week. OUCH! Still catching up on sleep because silly me kept trying to raid and play with friends.

On the WoW front, things are about the same. Still running my normal run 2 nights a week. I FINALLY told someone they couldn’t come to the semi-limited night because of poor performance, and someone else because of gear. It is not something I have practice doing- this used to be the “everyone can come!” run, so now I have to keep it up. And continue to be strict. I have to decide if I am going to try to give tips to people or just tell them to do research.

And maybe have a word with the tank who wiped us because he wanted to see if he got a buff from the purple things on Fel Lord Zakuun… Really. That was not the first time we’ve done that fight.

Anyway… I got my legendary ring on my druid, and I should have one on my monk this week unless I get really unlucky. Yay!

My druid has been pawing it up as a feral in our main groups raids. It’s fun when I do better DPS than expected, and not fun because I prefer to heal. I really need to just stop going. I did not enjoy most of that raid, even when things were going well. I kinda feel like I’m no longer a part of that group- I don’t join in on the jokes, I don’t feel comfortable talking in vent. I am more relaxed in pugs. If I want to raid on my druid, I’ll pug with her. I prefer resto to feral anyway. I know absolutely how I lost my heal spot on that team, with all the uncertainty about raiding. You can’t really have a part-time healer, but it does make me sad sometimes.

Tentative plan for the week: LOTS OF SLEEP
-Hope the normal group gets to Xhul
-STOP running with the heroic group
-Do the new stuff for toys and pets and mounts!

It will be a bit less fun, since one of my friends is in the raid, and he can’t raid and do stuff with me. And I don’t want to raid steadily with that group anymore. It’ll be tough enough keeping up the normal runs with school, I don’t have the time to raid 2 extra nights a week.