What makes a night bad? Not getting bosses down is an obvious answer, lack of progress, but I don't care too much about a few nights of wiping to learn the fight and improve. Admittedly, weeks of wiping to 1 boss frustrates me, but even then I usually come away with hope we'll get it next time.
Tonight left a bad taste in my mouth. Really, this whole raid week. We only had 1 hour of actual raiding Wednesday, between waiting for a tank and discussing strategy. Originally, I had plans for tonight that did not include raiding, but Fish Friday fell through, so I showed up to raid instead. I had expected that our raid leader would have found a healer to replace me, since I confirmed with her Wednesday I was going to be out. But there was still room- and we had 1 spot open. So we grabbed a DPS, and our boomkin popped into her off-spec to heal. She was doing ok, but I get the feeling it is completely an off spec to her, something she may have known well from Cata, but hadn't done any research on for subtler MoP changes- like how Nourish is no longer the bread and butter for healing. But whatever, she did a great job. Our tank was being squishy tonight, and died a few times. So he whispered me about doing less fistweaving, more mistweaving.
That kinda upset me, because a few minutes before our raid leader had made a comment about "healers trying to DPS" to the detriment of their healing. I felt like it was directed at me, even though no names were mentioned. Anyway, those comments rubbed me the wrong way. I probably didn't start out in the best mindset. I was hopeful, and having fun, but I had woken up from a nap about 20 minutes before raid time. I said to myself- ok, I will see if I can pay more attention, see if I can improve my healing, and to make them happy, quit chasing down the adds and hanging around the boss so much. But it's Will of the Emperor, if people are doing their jobs right (and mostly they were) there was very little damage going around, and with 2 druids rolling Lifebloom on each tank, they weren't having a lot of health deviations that I had to stop and really heal, throwing out renewing mists and chi wave was keeping everyone up. So I was DPSing lightly to spend chi for mana tea. And, since I am a melee healer, I figured staying around the boss, so I will keep the tank in range and not spend a lot of wasted time running around was a good idea. I have gotten much better at avoiding devastating strike since I've had a chance to practice. I only miss if I stop to heal, and I get out of the way if am going to be doing that.
I realize that is a block of whining essentially that someone told me I was doing a bad job. I just needed to vent a bit, that raid left a bad feeling behind. We didn't down the boss, our best attempt was 5%. I was kinda hoping for the feat of strength. If I feel like I have a better mindset tomorrow, I'll see if I can find a group for it.
As a side note, I am once again in charge of next Tuesday's raid- this time, I will make sure to contact people before hand to let them know that yes, I am running it, it will be happening. I hope our normal raid leader comes back. Don't get me wrong, I think our GM has been doing a great job, but I feel like she's been very frustrated lately. Plus, he's got a healer he usually brings, so... But really, if he comes back, we'll have a pally, me, and it looks like the druid that filled in a few times is now a permanent fixture (which is good) so I can bring my priest in once I get him geared, or my monk. Or the shaman if I ever manage to level her. I really miss the healer who started with us. He's been out for school, and not on much. He was fun.
Maybe I should have taken the night off. The grind to level my priest for the contest kinda wore me down. I dreaded logging in for a few days, because I felt any time not on my priest was a waste, and I didn't want to quest. But we reached 90, so yay! A chance to sleep, and not worry about anything WoW related might have been good. Tomorrow, it's back to the valor grind on my monk- almost done! Next week I won't even have to cap valor to finish Wrathion's quest. Then I get to run LFR with the druid, and rogue, and try to get those last 2 points I need to take the priest in. And start the GL, so I can get the rep for the enchants. I feel like my to-do list for WoW is hours long, and my "fun stuff" to do list is never going to see the light of day.
Is it raid burn-out, or group? Do I just need to get away from WoW for a few days and come back fresh? Or do I need to just practice and become a mistweaving monk rather than a fistweaving monk?
I feel like it isn't raid burn-out. I am looking forward to finding a PUG, something low-stress this weekend to do. I might need a break, but I probably won't take one this weekend.
And the monk. That might be another post.